After 11 days back in Korea I am returning to Canada.
My father's health has declined rapidly over the last week and my family has asked me to return home to be with my father in his final journey.
Yesterday I quit my job in Korea and am now in Osaka airport waiting for my connecting flight home.
It has literally been the longest few days of my life!
My sisters have told me not to expect things as they were when I left Canada just over a week ago - aparently Dad looks alot different and because of the medicine he is often not aware of too much going on around him.
The intial hope of finding treatment and fighting this cancer has dissapeared. Somehow　we missed the opportunity to fight. The estimate of 12 months has now turned into a few weeks, maybe a month; although the fear is that even these estimates may be too liberal. Right now everyone is trying to keep Dad comfortable and at home - which is his wish.
I am still praying for a miracle, but the reality of the situation is staring me in the face.
So I am going home.....
indefinately.
Right now I am trying to focus on the present and let the future take care of itself.
Thanks to my friends in Ulsan who helped me somehow not meltdown completely.
Gareth and Jeanie - thanks for letting me store my stuff at your place and for taking over some of my lessons.
Thanks to Joanne - who is likely the only reason I actually got packed and out of my apartment in time . And to Helen, Nathan and Julie (and Jo again) who saw me off my last night in Korea and were amazing at comforting me and who offered their strength when I felt I had none.
I will miss my students, my coworkers and my friends - but Korea will always be there.
I have little knowledge of what the future holds for me - but I pray that I can make it through this and come out the other side stronger then I am entering it.
Although neither of us are that religious, Joanne gave me a little prayer to keep with me. I have been reading it on the plane and will continue to hold the words close to my mind.

O Lord, In my present need, help me to believe that you areaware of my trouble and will do what is best for me. Give me the strength to trust you and to put the present and future in your hands.

I will keep everyone updated and thank you for your thoughts and prayers.

Colleen