Sunday, July 09, 2006

Ramblings


I am fully recovered from my little ‘back’ issue. Feeling healthy again, but as the end of my contract nears I am feeling more and more anxious about my trip – mostly the perpetual stress of money.
I have less then 2 months left at my job and am trying desperately to budget for my trip and trying to decide what the future holds for me.
A few weeks ago I was sure that I was leaving my school and planned to move to Busan next January, however my boss has been trying to persuade me to return to my current school. The stress of negotiating my return (for something I guess I actually don’t really want anyways) is starting to get to me. I think I thought I would give their offer some thought since it might mean not having to look for work while I am traveling. Turns out it is looking like more heartache then it is worth.
When did my happiness get a price tag attached to it?
Mental note: follow your heart – not money...it never brings happiness.
It is clear now that I don’t really want what they are offering.

Anyways, the last few weekends have been pretty low-key: meeting with some mates for a few drinks in the evenings, hanging out in my apartment during the day. It has been hot as hell here – and rainy (monsoon time) so most days I don’t feel like venturing outdoors.

Next weekend is a long weekend here, and I am going to a meditation center for the weekend. Perhaps it will help facilitate the clarity I am seeking.
At home, my family will be having a memorial for my Dad. It will be one year this coming Thursday that he past away. I am very sad that I can’t be home for it. Although, I am not sure that being there would make it any easier to accept the reality that a full year has past since I last spoke to him or saw his face. My grief is still very fresh.
sigh
Needless to say there is a lot on my mind now.

2 Comments:

At 4:09 PM , Blogger Blake said...

Wow, has it really been a year? I still remember when you left.

I hope you're okay.

 
At 4:10 PM , Blogger Blake said...

Wow, has it really been a year? I remember when you left.

I hope you are okay.

 

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